You know things are getting pretty bad when the guys from the tip turn up with rubbish to give to you!
In John Ward’s case it was a side car, and it hung about at his home for a while until a Mini engine and gear box turned up.
The side car was then transformed into a five-wheeled Mini with rotors, radar scanner and wings, and became known as The Woganmobile.
It was a lovely piece of English eccentricity and only served to reinforce John’s reputation as an eccentric inventor.
In that role he had built unlikely notoriety, with TV appearances and magazine articles written all over the world talking about his penchant for recycling rubbish into weird and wonderful inventions.
Move forward a few years and John (“38 plus VAT”, he says), has been living in Moulton Seas End with his partner Mo for the past six years.
He clearly enjoys his status as local celebrity, having been interviewed by people such as Richard & Judy and Roland Rivron about his inventions that range from bra warmers to musical frying pans.
John makes no claims to inventions that help mankind, unless you count the laughter caused by things like his numb bum reviver or his royal waving hand (clips on the interior of the Royal car door and automatically waves).
He says he’s still inventing – John’s currently into unusual bird tables – and he also has ideas, the most recent of which went down remarkably well locally.
John came up with the idea of a cabbage hurling competition for Holbeach Town & Country Fair, thinking it might fill ten minutes in the programme.
“I didn’t realise it would take off but we had 14 teams of three on the first day and half an hour stretched into an hour and three-quarters,” said John. “Not one person left the arena, and it was even better on the Sunday.”
Four crates of chilled cabbages were donated by Naylor Farms of Moulton Seas End and these were hurled by contestants using John’s own design for a trebuchet, or giant catapult.
John says: “Some shattered on impact, some didn’t, depending on how they hit the ground. There was no waste because it was all picked up afterwards and went for cattle feed.
“It was probably one of my better ideas, but I didn’t know it at the time.”
It’s some years since the TV companies came calling requesting interviews, but if cabbage hurling becomes a national pastime it’s possible John will be brushing up his eccentric inventor persona.
However, Holbeach cabbage hurlers need no persuasion when it comes to John’s amazing ingenuity.